Monday, 22 October 2007

• " 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace."

  So. Here it is.

  There's so many things going on in my life right now.A lot of which, I wish I could change. Some I have the power to, but not the drive. Some I have no control over. Currently, I'm exhausted. It seems that I've been on this emotional rollercoaster lately, and that's just dealing with family stuff.

  My Grandpa is dying. We were losing him cause he needed a pacemaker, and he didn't want it. A couple of days later, They do the operation anyway. It took them 2 tries to make it work. Then more waiting to see if his body would reject it, or not. A few days later, it seems as though, he's gonna make it. He's fine, they text message me. They're letting him go home in a couple of days...My mom has been over there (in Mexico) for a week. She left as soon as they told her, it was getting bad. Mom was suppose to come home this last Sunday (yesterday). She didn't. At the last minute my dad text messaged me saying "change of plans. Mom is staying in Mexico for a few more days. Grandpa got critical again. and in ICU."  Since then, I haven't gotten an update. Nobody is calling me back, or responding to my text messages. I hate not knowing. I hate that I can't be there. I MISS MY MOM.

  I'm frustrated, angry, sad, annoyed,  upset, i'm tired of crying ... (Nicole says I'm emo.)

  Sometimes I just want to be left alone. Other times, I'll call on a good friend, to come keep me company, and help me get my mind off things.

  I know. I know. God is here. He is real. and He is huge, but right now all I hear is silence....

  --- all that to say---

  I'm sorry. Sorry if i've been ugly to you. Sorry if i've snapped at you. Sorry if i've shut you out.

  I ask this of you. Please, Bathe me in prayer. I don't want hugs. I don't want your pity.

  I just need prayer. I just need peace.

  I need rest.

   

   

  • 10:27 AM
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